My (biological) Sister and The Attack

My biological sister is a self-centered, conceited, arrogant drunk. She thinks only about herself, and how to make things in her life work the way she wants them to work. I’m positive she believes, quite literally,  that the world revolves around her. I could care less, though. She has wished my parents and me dead on more than one occasion. She never says thank you – not even for presents. Now, normally none of this would matter to me, but the little witch is starting to get on my nerves. Recently, I went to Lowe’s and got a key entry lock for my door to keep her and her felon boytoy out of my room. I also got a mini-fridge to keep my food away from them.

So, the other day, on a (drunken) whim, she decided to have a “heart-to-heart” conversation with me while I was talking to my soon-to-be fiance. I talk to him A LOT. It’s just something we do. My sister wanted me to hang up and was not telling me why. Did I mention she was plastered? I wasn’t going to hang up. Then she said she had grown up a lot. This produced a small snicker from me, because she is the most juvenile 22 year old that I know. Well, she got up and started yelling at me and said “Don’t expect me to be in your wedding,” to which I replied, “You aren’t even invited.” Apparently not having anything more intelligent to say, she decided to call me a stupid ****, and slammed my door. I opened the door and followed her out to the computer asked her if she said what I thought she said. She said yes and, still at a loss for an intelligent riposte, repeated it. Classy, no? I went into my bedroom, shut and locked the door, and called my dad. I knew I could not explain to her that I did not appreciate being called…what she called me, so in middle school fashion I had to go to the authority figure in the house, my father. I told him what she had said, and that I don’t appreciate being called that, and that it’s ridiculous for her to attack me in that fashion. Dad was down the street at a fast food restaurant getting her some food. I got off the phone with my father and called my soon-to-be Fiance again. My sister started to hit and kick my door violently while screaming, “Come out here you stupid bitch! I will kick your f******* ass!” I had no idea what I had done to provoke this attack, and generally did not want to deal with a drunken sister with an ass-kicking fixation. I had told her before that she wasn’t going to be in the wedding. It’s not a secret she cannot control herself and no one trusts her. In any case, she apparently she found me at fault that night, because she continued beating on the door and yelling at me until my father came home. When he finally did, he was PISSED OFF – enough to kick her out of the house. In what I can only suppose was an ill-advised attempt to change his mind, she started throwing things at him (heavy things like perfume bottles and the like) so my father grabbed her wrists and pulled her to the door and was going to throw her out then. Well, she somehow got back to her room and got into an altercation with Felon Boytoy who accidentally (no really) hit her lip causing a small scratch. She wanted to call the cops and say my dad did that. It wouldn’t work since I heard Felon Boytoy say he did it. She left screaming and hollering and wishing us all dead. Then she threatened suicide, which she does whenever she cannot win an argument. She has done it over a hundred times. This girl will not commit suicide. She is way too narcissistic to do that. I think she is in love with the idea of “they’ll be sorry” but she wants to be able to come back to throw it in our faces, of course.

So that is the story and background of my demon sister. I’m pretty sure hell will spit her out because even Satan himself couldn’t take her constant insults, screaming, and demanding. Even if things stay the same in the house, I only have another 10 months of this.

Aunt Flo’s Visit from HADES

Aunt Flo, Monthly Visitor, Surfing The Crimson Wave, your “period”…whatever you call it, I hope you never have to have it jump started by hormones. Let’s just say I’m a medical oddity as it is, and my doctor basically looked at me crosswise and told me to gear up for the period from hell. She, sure as the tears streaming down my face for the past ten days (Oh yes, I said ten. I have had longer but none like this one.), and the ripping feeling in the generally girly parts area, (wait was I making a point…oh yeah, the doctor) was right on the money with this one being excruciating. Call me a wuss if you want. I’ll trade your period for mine and you stay in bed for ten days running to the bathroom every hour so you don’t ruin bed linens, couch, computer chair, etc. All I have to say is, pray it comes naturally and doesn’t have to be kickstarted with medication.

Doctor’s Appointment and a Greener Me

Well, being Catholic it probably won’t surprise anyone that I am against chemically altering your body so that you won’t get pregnant…what do I mean you ask? I mean birth control. As it turns out though, I have yet another medical condition that is putting me at risk of 3 types of scary cancers (um, wait – is there an unscary cancer? Is unscary a word? Hmm). So I actually have to be on a certain type of birth control, only given to stroke or heart attack victims, and used mostly for medicinal purposes (such as decreasing my risk of cancer by what’s technically known in the medical field as a metric buttload). Well, I was told I absolutely could not have children because it would kill me, and probably the child as well. That was actually not a shocker to me. I was told that some years ago, but I didn’t realize how concrete it really was until yesterday when this (new) doctor told me. So, that sucks. But there are a lot of children out there without homes. If we do decide to have children, we will obviously adopt.

Also, I have been cutting out the carbs, and I never knew you could feel so wonderful and not eat the vast majority of what I was eating. The doctor told me that I am doing the right thing as far as my eating habits for this disease. I would have treated the disease more seriously had my old doc not treated it so flippantly. I am also convincing The Fiance to use products that are better for the planet. I know there may be some weird comment that being “green” is stupid – well, it’s really not. Al Gore is still an idiot and his movie sucks, but there are little things that all of us can do to try and make the earth livable for our poor grandchildren, and it starts now. I cannot convince anyone to do anything they don’t want to do, and if you don’t want to buy environmentally sound products or recycle, well, that’s fine. Don’t. But I will, in hopes of saving Earth for my offspring’s offspring’s offspring, and their offspring, and – you get the picture.

Taking Responsibility

Let’s get one thing straight…The last post was a rant about something that pisses me off. I chose to be bulimic and I chose to be anorexic. People say they are diseases and that may be true…I believe it’s a choice. You may be very messed up in the head when you make that choice, but it’s still a choice. I was in no way blaming too skinny actresses, musicians, and (SURPRISE) models for anything more than pissing me off and their own bad health. I know a girl who in high school and after who was and is very skinny. She also models, I believe, to this day…here’s the shocker, she’s in her mid-twenties. So much for being too old for fashion if you are above the age of 19, huh? I believe fashion is a fun way of expressing oneself. I think a lot of people would agree…back to my friend…She always claimed she ate a lot…I have never seen such evidence. In high school she picked at lettuce in a salad with no salad dressing never finishing it because she would “pig out at home later…it was too early to eat…) Later on, after high school, I saw her pick at sushi…I have never seen her “pig out” as she promised she did. Does that mean she didn’t? Hell no…she probably does when she’s hungry…I also have no evidence to say she doesn’t eat. All I know is recent studies show that the BMI is crap and don’t go killing yourself trying to reach that weight because you WILL be too skinny…hell, you also have the right to choose what ever you feel like doing…If you want to follow some cracked up mathmatician (that’s right, a mathmatician came up with the BMI, NOT a Doctor) go ahead…be super skinny if that’s what you like. Hey, just know you are at risk of strokes, heart disease, heart failure, heart attacks, organ failure…so on and so forth…I have no clue why you would willingly put yourself at risk of all those things.

Reply to Comment

I was just ranting about something that pissed me off. Of course I am aware of the many dangers of being overweight as well. I was trying to say girls need better “role models” then the models, actresses, and musicians of the world, who are too skinny. Girls need to be taught about good nutrition and healthy body weight. Whatever they do, they do not need to see a damn doctor who will whip out the go-to standard BMI which was created by a freaking mathmatician. I have a friend who has to FORCE herself to eat all the time because she has an overactive metabolism. She went to participate in a study done by nutritionist and doctors there told her she was overweight. If you saw her you would DIE laughing. What did the nutritionist and doctors use to tell her she was overweight? The BMI, of course. She is by no means overweight. She is so skinny it’s scary, and there is nothing she can do about it (and by the way, strokes & heart attacks happen to those “girls” who are too skinny as well.) I was never saying that models, actresses, and musicians who are scary skinny are responsible for anything other than their own health problems (if they have any and are not just naturally that skinny.) When I had eating disorders, I chose to be bulimic, and I chose to be anorexic. I take responsibility for my own actions.

Shrinking Starlets in Hollywood

Confession time!! I used to be bulimic and anorexic. Yes, that’s right folks! I had both at different times in my life. Trust me you wouldn’t know that now. This, however, is no laughing matter. I am pissed at what I am seeing in the news concerning movie and music stars of the female persuasion. Except for a select few who love their curves (as they damn well should!) Hollywood women/girls are beginning to look unhealthy…and I mean TOO DAMN SKINNY! There is such a thing as exersizing and dieting to much. I don’t know what the demand is out there, but it makes me ill to think my future daughter will be looking at these waifs and think, “This is what I should look like.” Is it just me? Is this scaring anyone else? I mean I’m obviously not asking the real skinny girls, and by that I mean the girls who cannot gain weight because the have overzealous metabolism’s, to gain weight. I am asking directors’ and producers’ out there to tell these exersize crazed dieting to the point of scaring the hell out of me and the rest of curvy (I don’t mean overweight because that is a problem, too) women everywhere around the world. I do wonder what the world thinks of all of our skinny-could-come-from-the-same-mold hollywood starlets. It probably looks a little boring to them. I can see why…but above all I hope the “skinny trend” dies this year and a new “Love Yourself Curvy” trend emerges. I mean…please…when I look at those boy-bodied woman/girls who model on the, “Elite Fashion Runways of the WORLD,” all I can do is hope they are naturally like that and that they are not killing themselves to be famous for something that is not worth killing yourself at all. Fashion is what YOU like…not what someone else is telling you to like. If you like the new line from Stella McCartney by all means drop thousands to wear it…you better be a size negative 3 though. This has gotten too ridiculous for me to rant about any more!

Stupid Doctor’s

I really hate check up doctor appointments. They last all of a minute and go a little something like this:

Doc: You all right.

Me: Yep

Doc: All right here are your maintenance medications (Note to readers: read about page to fully understand why I need maintenance medications)

Me: Thank you.

Doc: You’re Welcome (while walking quickly out of room)

• I have a feeling this visit will vary a tiny bit from the above since I am supposed to be writing a review or endorsement for my Doctor’s second book on pain management. Apparently I am his poster-child for the upcoming book. This Doctor thinks me getting better is all him and not at all to due with the prayers from my family and second family (soon to be in-laws.) I am never going to apologize for believing what I want to believe. I will never apologize for being Catholic in a Southern Baptist and Church of Christ area of the United States of America. I feel more alive every time I step into the church; every time I practice for the choir; and every time I listen to a mass. Catholicism is where I belong and science–Since nothing new or extraordinary has been done to me–had little to do with my amazing recovery…I’m going to put my cards on God answering a few of the prayers being prayed for me.

Would I Lie to You?

Stolen From a Friend who LOVES surveys…I’m just bored.

What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
A great, big drink of Mountain Dew

Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew?
Let me think…ummm…damn! Yes.

Where was your default picture taken?
What default picture?

Last time you walked further than a block?
I dunno…Renn Faire maybe…we go for drives a lot.

Name someone that made you laugh today?
No.
Fiance, cat, other cat, and self

When was the last time you saw number 3 on your top friends?
This survey is better suited for Myspace.

How late did you stay up last night and why?
I believe I woke briefly due to a nightmare, (horrid things, those nightmares) took some time for me to get back to sleep.

If you could move somewhere else, where would it be?
Somewhere in either Kentucky (certain parts), Tennessee (certain parts), North Carolina (certain parts), South Carolina (certain parts), Georgia (certain parts, definitely not Atlanta), Alabama (certain parts) and finally Mississippi (certain parts of course)

Ever been kissed under fireworks?
No. Dammit.

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
My oldest one in TN.

Do you believe ex’s can be friends?
Yes. Only one, though, and it might be because we were boyfriend and girlfriend for two days while we were in middle school.

Do you prefer to call or text?
I prefer to call…text is so impersonal!

How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper?
Diet Dr. Pepper can kiss my lily white butt, however Diet Mountain Dew and Diet Root Beer are awesome.

Where are you at right now?
Sitting in a big black chair at the dining room table. Why do you want to know, anyway? Are you stalking me? Hmm?

What was the last thing someone bought for you?
A Sony Handycam Digital Video Camera Recorder (Kickass birthday present from the Fiance)

When is your birthday?
In the month of June…the first part.

Who took your profile picture?
Once again better on myspace.

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
I haven’t taken a picture of someone in a while. It was probably of the puppies when two of our dogs mated (one is fixed now).

Was yesterday better than today?
Not really I was battling the chemo yesterday so I am definitely liking today much better than yesterday…

Can you live a day without TV?
Easily!

What are you listening to?
At the moment? Jewel the Pieces of You album

Are you mad about anything?
I’m pissed that I have nothing better to do right now than a survey. No seriously, these are pretty fun every once in a while and this will help you get to know me. Like I care.

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
What’s “it”? I cannot answer a question that hasn’t fully explained itself.

When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
I’m extremely disappointed that the writer of the survey didn’t feel the need to explain “it.”

Would you take your ex back?
Hell. No.

Where do you wish you were right now?
Castle in Ireland/Scotland with The Fiance and a great novel.

Is anything bothering you right now?
Yeah, the fact that I didn’t change the laundry an hour ago

Are you a bad influence?
Me? No never…all my friends that used to be straight-laced found rock n’ roll and sex by themselves. Really.

Night out or night in?
Depends on my mood…but I can be convinced to do either.

Do you like anyone right now?
Yes. I am in like with my cat and The Fiance…who really isn’t The Fiance yet but will soon be so I call him The Fiance.

Anyone upset you lately?
No, not recently.

Last person who called you on the phone?
I got a phone call from my fiance who was trying to find this blog. Nosy bastard

Can you easily tell if someone is fake?
Yeah. It’s pretty easy…but I won’t let them know I know they are fake unless they severely piss me off.

How’s your Heart?
Pretty damn good, and that is saying something with the Lupus trying to eat my organs.

Review of Jewel’s new album “Perfectly Clear”

Anyone who knows me will know one of my biggest musical influences is Jewel. I love her songwriting and for the most part her music. We all remember the OOPS “0304″ was in the music world, but if you pay attention to the lyrics, that “certain something” is still there – it’s that special folk-y music that was on her first three and fifth albums. But now, she is finally doing something more traditionally country and returning to her roots. Jewel grew up on a ranch past “the end of the road” in Homer, Alaska. She grew up riding horses, sleeping under the stars, and singing and playing guitar around campfires. This was all a beautiful set up for one of our generations great songwriters. This is not her first attempt at a country album. Her last country effort was underway in Nashville, when her old record label trashed it and made it more pop-y. Jewel has fought with her record label on this point constantly. She has managed to sneak the odd country song on every one of her albums, and if you’ve ever seen her perform, you know she hardly ever does the same arrangement of her “hits.”

Jewel’s newest album Perfectly Clear is Jewel at her creative best. She has said goodbye to her old record label,  and finally has the freedom to do what she has been wanting to do from the beginning. This country album has been a long time in coming. Now, I like the woman empowered song, “Stronger Woman,” for doing just that–empowering women. Other than that, I’m not sure I agree with everything said. That is what a good songwriter does though. Jewel makes you think. Some things you won’t agree with because they are her views. Other things you will love until the end of time. Other than, “Stronger Woman,” I love the album. It was like listening to an old friend you thought you had lost forever. “I Do” is a very personal song. I almost feel like a voyeur listening to this song. I highly recommend this CD to all. Old Jewel fans will revel in it’s pureness and country fans will fall in love with a new artist, and maybe even pick up some of her older albums.